Wednesday, October 22, 2014

What I learned today: don't watch a film that takes its title from a cup size

My fault for not paying attention, I suppose. I was only paying attention to the people screaming and the fake gore when the advert came on TV. I do like seeing people getting eaten by fish, and snakes, and probably something else that I can't think of it right now. But I guess this serves as a lesson, especially since my Mom was in the room, watching with me.

Ugh, where to start? The gore looked fake, the boobs were too numerous to be titillating (do you see what I did there?), the acting was plain awful, and the characters too dumb and shallow to care about.

Christopher Lloyd and David Hasselhoff were the highlights. And one good scene was when two people were in a van, about to bang. The girl handcuffs her boyfriend to a table and as the van rolls into the lake full of piranhas, she loses the key. Oh, and the scene at the end where the police officer's half in shock and carrying around a half eaten skeleton. I was laughing my ass off.

My point is: if you want gore and boobs in one sitting, put Saw on the telly and stream proper porn on your mobile.

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